How to Keep any Relationship Healthy

By: Cucan Pemo

With all of the advice out there on how to rebuild your relationship, why not look at tips to keep your already healthy relationship in tact? There are plenty of things that you should avoid in order to make your relationship with your wife or girlfriend from unnecessary miscommunication as well as arguments. In fact, these tips can help you in every relationship that you have - read on.



DON'T be right all the time



There's nothing more frustrating in a relationship than a person who insists that they are always right. No one is right all of the time, and it's time that you realized that. It takes a much stronger person to admit that they were wrong than it is for someone to not admit that they may have made a mistake. Don't be the know it all.



DON'T refuse to apologize



You will have something that you need to apologize for at some point, even if you don't think that it's a big deal. When you allow your partner to hear that you are sorry about something, you allow them to see that you are willing to move past something in order to have a healthier relationship. And even if you don't think that you are wrong, apologizing is a great way to start fixing the situation instead of making it worse.



DON'T know the other person better than they know themselves



If you've ever been in a fight or a discussion when another person has claimed to know what you want, doesn't that feel upsetting? You want to avoid doggedly trying to prove that you know more about the other person than they do - because that just isn't the case. Take the time to consider their feelings and thoughts when they tell them to you. To not let them have a say is to make the conversation one sided.



DON'T assume anything



When you start to assume something, you start to chip away at the truth. IF you want to know about something, the other person is going to have to tell you what you need to know. Assuming that someone feels a certain way or that they want you to do a certain thing is only going to set you up for possible problems. Assuming is really just guessing.



DON'T rub it in



If you do find out that you are right about something, you don't want to constantly rub the fact in long after the discussion is over. Your relationship isn't about someone being right; it's about the two of you being happy. If you're right, you're right, but then you need to move on. Your partner will not appreciate being reminded that they were wrong.



DON'T put your priorities first



While you both want to have your needs and wants addressed, when you try to focus more on your own needs than your partner's needs, you will be seen as selfish and uncaring. A relationship means that you are putting someone else's needs before your own, and in doing so, allowing your needs to be fulfilled as well. Seek out their needs to see how you can compromise to make both of you happy.



DON'T interrupt them



When you're trying to make a point, you might feel that your words are more important than theirs, but this is not helpful. If you are interrupting what someone else is saying all the time, two things happen: one, you're not hearing what they are saying, and two, you are showing that your opinions are more important than theirs. Instead, stop yourself and make a mental note to bring up your point when they are finished.



DON'T make promises you can't keep



You aren't going to be perfect, but when someone is counting on you to help maintain a good relationship; you need to be able to hold up your part of the bargain. This means that you need to be able to make promises that you can keep. And when you do make a promise to someone, they need to be able to expect that you will follow through - every time. If you can't make a promise, then let them know that you will try your hardest, but that you can not promise it. This allows them to have realistic expectations of you.



No relationship is perfect, but there are plenty of ways that you can keep it from becoming unhealthy.

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A Woman's Guide to Writing a Great Profile

OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

A Woman’s “Don’ts” of Online Dating

There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

Never, ever, EVER lie. I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are.

Don’t be too eager. It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest. I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”. I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting. Don’t email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.

Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.